Quote of the Day...

"Only dead fish go with the flow"


I think this is a particularly great quote to keep in mind whilst reading my previous blog about why good people do bad things.  If you ever need to courage to speak up against wrong doing or say no to your boss when it is the right thing to do, remember this quote.

Psychological Reasons Good People Do Bad Things

This is a very interesting article:
http://www.businessinsider.com/27-psychological-reasons-why-good-people-do-bad-things-2012-8?op=1

It covers 27 reasons whyotherwise good people might end up doing bad things.
Most interesting to me were:

• The Galatea Effect - People who have a strong sense of self are less likely to do unethical things.  People who see themselves as determined by an environment or employer etc lets them feel less individually responsible for wrong doing.
• Time Pressure - in a study, people under time pressure were 27% less likely to help someone in visible distress.
• The Foot in The Front Door - when a person in authority asks someone to bend the rules, they want to be seen as a team player and loyal.  This can lead to them being more inclined to do unethicalthings

The most moving description of love (and OCD)...

Which member of the meeting are you?

The only thing it was missing from my experience was:

"We will have to find a creative solution to this" 

and 

"we will have to think creatively"

Translation:  "I don't care about your excuses, just make it happen"

Enjoy :)

Motivational Moment of the Month

In a moment of desperation this afternoon I phoned a friend to say, "I am busy trying to achieve the impossible".  Her response:

"There is no such thing, impossible is just something that takes longer to achieve"

Unique London - Part 2

The second instalment of things that have inspired me during my investigations of slight less obvious touristy things to do in London:

1.  London Fields Lido - a heated outdoor Olympic sized swimming pool, complete with sun deck and sun bathing areas!

 

2.  Old Operating Theatre Museum - The oldest operating theatre in London

3.  Columbia Road Flower Market - A street market for plants and flowers of all shapes and sizes.

Keep an Eye on Events

Worth keeping an eye on the "upcoming events" calendar for the following organisations based in London:

The Royal Institution

The Royal Society for the encouragement of arts

The Bishopsgate Institute

The Natural History Museum

Privacy in Public Places

I had an interesting conversation today with a photographer about privacy.  Anyone is legally allowed to take photos in public places of anyone / anything they like, but is this always morally OK?

Whilst recently marshalling at the London marathon, a runner collapsed on exhaustion.  We managed to get him of the track;  he was a little delirious, vomiting and, heart wrenchingly, crying at the disappointment of having to drop out.  As you might expect, passers-by were staring, some even stopping to watch.  What I had not expected was a man with a professional looking camera to come and take a photo of the suffering man.

In the man's moment of vulnerability there was a camera in his face.

The photographer was within his legal rights, and my photographer friend believes that having this freedom and exercising it is important in order to capture reality and is imperative to being able to tell 'the real story'.

I fully agree with this freedom being important, and I think that the law is right to allow this - however I think people need to exercise some restraint sometimes and chose to do the right thing.  This was not the right thing.  Exploiting this man's worse moments is crossing a line.  

And I hope that the shocked and horrified glare I gave the photographer in this case was enough to make him reconsider his actions and delete the photo.

Congrats to all who took part and raised money in the London Marathon!!!

Too late for a blog entry, time to sleep...

Change has to start with you

When ever you think that society needs to be more...X, or your team needs to be more...Y.  Or maybe the world needs to solve climate change, or people need to be more responsible, or 'the rich'* should pay more tax or give more to charity...

Stop and think, am I exhibiting the behaviour I am wanting to see?  And don't dare let yourself off the hook by saying, "well no one else is bothering, why should I?".

If everyone always waited for others, then we would never get anywhere.  And maybe by leading, you will inspire change in others.  1 person really can make a difference.  Worse case scenario, you can hold your head up high and know you are acting with authenticity and integrity.

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” - Mahatma Gandhi

(Often paraphrased to:  "be the change you want to see in the world")

And if you want to be inspired by song:  Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson


*  It seems to me that very often people in the very top earning brackets still think that all the "rich people" should pay more tax, when in actual fact, they should be looking to themselves too to do more for society.  It is easy for people to forget how privileged they are.

Clever Charity Advertising Campaign

Off to my job at the piggy bank...

French Bulldog Bedtime

Volunteering makes you feel EPIC...

This is how I felt whilst marshaling at the 2014 London Marathon this weekend:

Starling Bath Time

Not sure who filmed this, as it was sent to me by my Granny, so sadly I can't credit them, or know where it was filmed.  However, it makes me feel so spring like!

Book Pick: Lean In - Sheryl Sandberg (Part III)

Just finished reading Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In.  Given it has almost the same level of following in my industry as say, Fifty Sades of Grey or Twilight did in the UK as a whole I was almost embarrassed to be reading it.  That combined with it's topic of feminism lead me to remove the dust cover to keep it anonymous...

However, really I should have read it with pride.  1) it is a very enjoyable read 2) makes a number of impactful points 3) who cares what other people on the bus think, if they want to judge me by my book choice, then feel free (I am a bit of a feminist anyway!).

I have already written 2 blog entries on this which can be found here and here.  Below are the additional points that stood out for me:

• One study showed that women are 80% more likely to get promoted if they have a mentor.

• As an employee you have to decide where you draw the line with regards to work.  The employer will likely always ask more of you, so it is important to decide what your limit is and be clear about it.

• Always look for areas / business that are growing, this is where career progression will be best.

Documentary Pick: Miss Representation

Miss Represention is a very thought provoking documentary about the media's representation of women, women in influential positions and the impact of one on the other.

3 things particularly hit me:

• "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any" - Alice Walker

• The media has a massive responsibility as they hugely shape public opinion.  The average person consumes ~10 hours of media a day (including TV, magazines and online sources).

• Women are under-represented in news reports, objectified in film, music and magazines and undermined.

Definitely worth a watch - what is even more shocking about the representation of women in the media, is how society, and particularly women, are seemly either not aware of the statistics or simply not outraged by this like we should be.

In particular, if you are a father, husband, brother please watch this.  Women alone will not be able to achieve the equality that is not only fair but beneficial to our society (just google the business case for diversity - this really needs a blog of its own...).

"You can't be just a little bit equal" - Tessa Jowell

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Links to check out:

http://www.seejane.org/index.php

http://therepresentationproject.org/

Video Pick: The Puzzle of Motivation - Dan Pink

Very interesting video!  Shows how short sighted my carrot verses stick debates have been!!

Lean In - Sheryl Sandberg (Part II)

Here are 2 more points that I think are particularly inspiration from Sheryl Sandberg's:

• Done is better than perfect.

• What would you do if you were not afraid.

Video Pick: Simple Community Ideas

A colleague recently shared with me her favourite TED videos and I have just finished watching them all.  The following 2 stuck out for me as they are awesome examples of the power of community, simple ideas and people's willingness to be part of something and share themselves.

I love Candy's and Frank's ideas.  Candy finds ways for neighbours to share information and ideas in public places and Frank collects secrets.

Time to find me a postcard and get involved!

A Small Act of Kindness

I was just waiting at the front of a queue at a taxi rank when a woman joined the queue behind me using walking sticks.  Within a couple of minutes a taxi turned up and I offered her to go ahead of me and take the cab.  This cost me very little, in fact within barely a minute another taxi turned up, but the lady on accepting the queue jump was so grateful to me, she was noticeably touched by my very small act of kindness.

As a result, I felt fantastic.

I share this story because it made me think of my "100 happy days" blog (A challenge to take a photo a day for 100 days of something that makes you happy).  Maybe another option, instead of / as well as / after is to do 100 Small Acts of Kindness.

A small act of kindness need cost you nothing, or at least very little, but you stand to gain a lot.  I think this will have a similar sort of positive impact on your life as the happiness challenge and has the added benefit of making other peoples' day at the same time.

It is certainly true that small things like these can certainly make my day.  For example, the other day the lady in the coffee shop offered me a coffee on the house - this made me smile all morning, not because I had a free coffee, because in actual fact I don't drink coffee so declined, simply because of her kindness towards me.

Something else to try!

Grumpy Cat Coding Frustrations

This made me laugh so hard...

Lean In - Sheryl Sandberg (Part I)

I am part way through reading Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In - it will no doubt doubt form part of a later blog entry as a "Book Pick" but for now I just want to note down some of the things that have stuck with me so far:

• Rather than telling an organisation what your skills are and why they should hire you, try asking "what is your biggest problem and how can I help you solve it".

• She says "as sappy as it sounds I hoped to change the world".  This is exactly how I feel, and I think it is a very positive motivator in my life.   It drives me, energises me and keeps me believing that 1 person can have a big impact.  Naive, yes but definitely very positive.

• Never ask "will you be my mentor" as this is awkward and the mentor relationship needs to be natural.  Instead be prepared, ask good questions (ie not things you could google) and follow up afterwards to tell the person how their advice impacted you.  Something I found interesting was her thoughts on who she likes to mentor, people she thinks have potential and people who she thinks she could offer a lot to in terms of advice.

The Rare Responsible Person

• Self motivating
• Self aware
• Self disciplining
• Self improving
• Acts like a leader
• Doesn't wait to be told what to do
• Never feels "that's not my job"
• Picks up the trash laying on the floor
• Behaves like an owner

This description of "the rare responsible person" is part of Netflix's slide deck detail their culture (if you get to see the whole slide deck, do so, it makes for a very interesting read).  This had so much impact on me that I printed it and stuck it on my my wall next to my desk at work.

This is what I aspire to be.  Day by day, or rather action by action, I try to implement this pattern of thinking and behaviour.  This is not easy, or in many cases fun, but to me it is very important.

I see regularly people in my work life and home life (including me) fall short of the above.  Take for example "that's not my job".  We are all guilty of this.  How do I know?  Because I can see litter in the street from where I am sitting.  100 people have probably seen that and walked straight past it.  More explicitly I hear these exact words being spoken at work - very often by people who have the skills and resources to help, but simply not the appetite.  This is not their problem, this is not their job.  Yet, wouldn't we all be that much more successful, happy, supported if the people around us saw that helping us/each other was absolutely part of their job.  Not just helping when it suited or there was something in it for them, but helping when it was inconvenient and costly to them too.

Rather than just skimming over the above bullet points, I implore you to read each one at a time, really think about what it means, particularly in those inconvenient cases and decide to act on it.

Assuming that anyone can adhere to all the above 100% of the time is probably implausible, but, certainly making small changes to our behaviour and becoming more responsible day to day is not.

I only have one quibble with the definition above as it stands, and that is the word "rare".  Whilst maybe it is true now, wouldn't it be great to change that?  Wouldn't it be great to be able to assume the person sat next to you abidded by the above sentiment?

Spread the word, let's do it!

Your Elusive Creative Genius - Elizabeth Gilbert

Today I watched a TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, about creative people and the impact of success or lack it on their mental well being.  In case you are interested you can watch it here:

In it, Elizabeth talks about the idea, which was common belief some years ago, that rather than being a genius, you have a genius.  A genius being a separate entity, maybe almost like a pixie, that can decide to help or not in your creative process.  If this were true, then anything you achieved would not be 100% your success and if you failed, that wouldn't be all your fault either.  This protects the person from emotional turmoil and I believe could have the same impact, creative person or not.

Some people might find the idea of pixies a little too hard to accept.  I know I do (sometimes I am  more logical than I want to be, because after all, how nice would it be to believe in fairies).  However, I know that the genius is not the point of what Gilbert is driving at, instead it is just the tool.

Therefore, maybe instead we can think about it as luck - luck that you had the opportunity to try the thing you now do, luck that you chose the path you did, luck that you were born to the parents that you were born to.  Or of course, bad luck (but lets stick with the theme of success).  In fact in most cases you can probably share your success with those around you - not very often are our achievements solely all on a result of ourselves - what about our partners who worked with us, brain stormed, or simply brought cups of tea and supported us through the mood swings.  All your teachers, friends even 'enemies' are partially responsible for where you are today.

Once you start to share that success you will notice a couple of things:
1) You will not feel all the burden of success so acutely as described by Elizabeth.
2) You will appreciate what you have - as per 100 days happy blog post here, when we appreciate things, we are happier
3) You will be giving the gift of happiness to those around you, as you tell them that you appreciate their support and you recognise that they are also impart responsible
4) Through this cycle of appreciating those around you,you will foster trusting, loving relationships, that lead to ever better future collaboration.  These people will want to help you next time - and surely this will leave you more likely to repeat or exceed your previous success.

So to me, having a genius, or believing in your own luck can be benefitial.

High Five Puppy!

Women Who Make America

Any Women (or Men!) who need some inspiration, check...

Makers.com

It is full of interesting sound bites / video clips of some of the most influential women in history.  My only question is when are they going to expand the scope to "Women Who Make the World"!?

100 Happy Days

Check out this initiative:

                                       100 Happy Days

Basically, the idea is to take a photo of something that makes you happy every day.

It is widely acknowledged that appreciating what you have is one of the key factors in being happy, and what better way to start encouraging yourself to look out for the good things in your life than this!  

People who have done the challenge have noticed that they find they are in a better mood everyday, start noticing the things that make them happy and receive more compliments for the people around them!!

I am certainly going to give it a shot :)

The Power of Play - Portia Tung

Take a look at this presentation - it is about the importance of play and may have you changing your daily routine to include a play break for you as well as your kids! 

If you want a good excuse to play, or instead want to release extra productivity, concentration and innovation, then you will find your answer there.

Puppy to Brighten your Day

Unique London - Part 1

I have just been doing some investigating into what to do in London over the weekend.  I have now lived in central London for over 4 years, have done most of the typical typical tourist things but feel I am missing out on some of the slightly less obvious attractions.  Here are some things that have inspired me during my investigations that I am eager to visit:

1.  Speakers' Corner - situated in the North East corner of Hyde Park anyone can bring a soap box, pitch up and speak on any subject they like.  I am excited to go and hear some speakers, before maybe one weekend turning up to speak!

2.  Postman's Park - located near St Paul's Cathedral, this walled garden is home to over 100 plaques in memorial to people who lost their lives whilst trying to save another.  Looking forward to feeling humbled as I read these amazing tales of heroism.

3.  Monument - Climb the monument to the Great Fire of London - it is over 62 metres tall and marks the place where the Great Fire of London started in 1666.  What an interesting perspective of London you would get from the top of this historic landmark, that is now towered over by the likes of the Shard, the Gherkin, Tower 42 and Heron Towers.

More to follow later....

Video Pick: We're all Hiding Something, Let's find the Courage to Open Up - Ash Beckham

I really enjoyed this TED talk, Ash is a great storyteller.  Also love the uplifting reassuring message - this will make you smile :)

Girl Rising - a global campaign for girls’ education

For international women's day my company screened the film 'Girl Rising' - hard hitting, interesting and educational, definitely worth watching.

"Girl Rising journeys around the globe to witness the strength of the human spirit and the power of education to change the world. Viewers get to know nine unforgettable girls living in the developing world: ordinary girls who confront tremendous challenges and overcome nearly impossible odds to pursue their dreams." 

- girlrising.com

Between each of the girls stories were some poignant statistics, for example:

• There are 33 million fewer girls than boys in primary school.
• A child born to a literate mother is 50% more likely to survive past the age of 5.
• If India enrolled 1% more girls in secondary school, GDP would rise by $5.5 billion.

These, and the others in the film, clearly shows the gender gap, certainly prove that educating girls is morally the right thing to do and also demonstrates the economic benefits of providing this education.

Certainly something worth watching, guarantee it will move you to action - it did me.

Stand with her - Girl Rising.

Word of the day: Boondoggle

I came across this word as a description of my colleagues trip to a work related conference... for a week... in Monaco... with a helicopter trip...

As defined by Google:

Boondoggle

noun

1. 1.

   An unnecessary, wasteful, or fraudulent project.

   "he characterized the defense program as an unworkable boondoggle"

verb

1. 1.

   Spend money or time on unnecessary, wasteful, or fraudulent projects.

   "the only guarantees are higher taxes and bureaucratic boondoggling"

Video Pick: The Surprising Science of Happiness - Dan Gilbert

An intro into natural v's synthetic happiness.  Definitely worth the 20 minutes, absolutely fascinating!

Book Pick: Fish!

A remarkable way to boost morale and improve results

By Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul and John Christensen

I recommend reading this book.  
In summary I would say that it is teaching the reader that no matter what job you are doing, you can change your attitude and that of the people around you in order to make a better working environment.  This is done through a story, admittedly very cheesy, but it is a very quick read, as it is very short, and acts as great motivation.  

Very empowering.

Why Not to Push onto the Bus First

So that was embarrassing humiliating.  

This morning, whilst getting onto the bus, someone pointed out how rude I was for not letting the people who had been waiting longer get on the bus first. .. 

                                                 ..."It's just that some people have been waiting here a long time".

I wont lie, my first feeling was not guilt or embarrassment.  My first feeling was shock.  This must be the second* time that someone has initiated dialog with me on public transport in 4.5 years of living in London.  I was so unprepared for this early morning human interaction that the best I could muster was...
                                              "OK".

I was caught off guard.  Really, I should have apologised and let him, and the others pass me, but all I had was "OK".

For the whole journey I stared squarely at the floor.  Even when multiple seats became free I didn't sit - I was undeserving.  I felt so bad.  I had to say something to the man who had pulled me up.  I had to apologise.  It would be a case of better late than never.  But in order to do that I would have to:

          a) disturb him (he was by now watching something on his non brand specific tablet, headphones in),
                   b) embarrass myself further by apologising in front of a bus load of people,
                             c) break the unwritten rule of not making eye contact with people on public transport**.  

I spent the next 15 minutes psyching myself up to 'just walk over there, say excuse me and then sorry, easy'.  By the time we got to my stop, I had not succeeded, but i could not bring myself to get off the bus with the matter unresolved.  I would give myself one more stop.  By the next stop I still had not managed, but luckily he was getting off here.  Now was my chance.  I too got off the bus and as i did i tapped his arm, and said:

"Excuse me.  I am so sorry about what happened before, and thank you for saying something".
The man:  "Oh sorry, its just sometimes in the morning I get a bit touchy".
Me:  "No no, not at all, I wasn't thinking, but you will see, it won't happen again".

("It wont happen again"!?  Erch, now he probably feels like my parent.)

He lightly touched my elbow and said, "thank you".

Balance restored.



Authors Note:   Whilst I do not want to make excuses for my behaviour, even if it was in the scheme of things a minor infraction, it did make me wonder why I had behaved like this.  Selfishness, on whatever scale, is not a character trait I associate with myself, so why was it so easy for me to get to the front of the queue unjustly.  It crossed my mind that when I first arrived in London this would never have happened, but I think over time, as you have other people barge past you and behave badly, you start to get cynical and jaded and believe that everyone is out for themselves - at least on their morning commute.  It took this for me to realise that maybe this is not true, maybe just a small proportion of people make it seem that way and whatever the case, maybe it is not worth lowering the standards you would usually hold yourself to.

Henceforth, I would rather stand, or wait for the next bus, than diminish my moral worth.  Will you join me in standing?



* The first time was a very friendly chap, who I managed to assess within the first second was from out of town.  Not from the accent, no, but his general cheeriness.

** In London this rule is even more strictly adhered to than the "no talking in an elevator, even with people you know" rule.  The only exception is if someone else is behaving badly e.g. talking too loudly on their phone.  Then, it is acceptable to raise your eyes from your paper, glance at the person opposite you who has also witnessed the same indiscretion, share a knowing look, roll your eyes before continuing reading the days events.

Video Pick: Your body language shapes who you are - Amy Cuddy

Super interesting video.  No time to write more about it though as I have to go and practice my power pose with a pencil between my teeth!  Enjoy :)